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Zachary Torrance

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Outlaw

The Resume

    Resident of Fairfield, Alabama
    Arrested at a Hueytown Wal-Mart on charges of robbing four local Subway restaurants within a week's span, after being recognized in surveillance footage released by local police on their Facebook page (Oct. 31, 2014)
    Later claimed to have acted out of anger at having spent a large sum of money trying out the famous 'Jared Diet'; wanted a refund for the diet's failure to work
    Charged with first-degree robbery with a $250,000 bond
    Named 'Donkey of the Day' by The Breakfast Club's Charlamagne Tha God

Why he might be annoying:

    He was dubbed 'the Foot Long Bandit' and 'The Disgruntled Dieter.'
    Observers commented that his mug shot looked unusually 'terrifying.'
    He allegedly weighed over 200-pounds when he committed the robbery (at the age of 18).
    He naively believed that the Jared Diet on its own would make him lose the famed '245-pounds,' without adopting a healthy lifestyle and exercise.
    Rather than take his complaint to the company's corporate offices or Facebook page, he chose to take his anger out on Subway's local sandwich artists who had nothing to do with advertising the merits of the 'Jared Diet.'
    He was caught days later trying to buy a holster for his gun (of all things) - wearing the same outfit and orange shoes seen in the widely viewed surveillance video.
    Many cringe-inducing jokes were made about his getting 'foot-longs' and 'plenty of exercise' in the prison showers, but he received a suspended sentence without doing any actual time.
    He was arrested again, a year later, in Fairfield, on another four-store robbery spree - awaiting trial and this time held on a $410,000 bond (Oct. 19, 2015).

Why he might not be annoying:

    He may have been just bluffing to police detectives about his revenge scheme (then again - why rob just Subway stores?)
    He illustrates why advertisers feel the need to include disclaimers at the bottom of the screen.
    As a dissatisfied consumer looking to get his money back after he used a product as intended, he could have sued the corporation for big bucks! (koff - Stella Liebeck - koff!)
    Considering that - less than a year later - Jared Fogle would be revealed as something far worse than a common thief, one might say that the Jared Diet actually did work for him! (He's in jail isn't he?)

Credit: BoyWiththeGreenHair


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 24 Votes: 91.67% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 6 Votes: 83.33% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 12 Votes: 83.33% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 12 Votes: 58.33% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 27 Votes: 44.44% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 8 Votes: 37.50% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 25 Votes: 52.00% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 31 Votes: 54.84% Annoying