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Sodom and Gomorrah
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Location
    Sodom more populated (and apparently gayer) than Gomorrah
    Two cities part of the 'Cities of the Plain'
    Supposedly destroyed completely by God with hellfire and brimstone
    Apparently getting to know someone in Sodom involved anal sex.
    They angered God so much with their sexual relations and loud rock music that he destroyed them.
    Even Abraham could not convince God to hold off the destruction of both cities.
    There was only one moral person in the entire Sodom metropolitan area (nerdy, white bread Lot).
    The cities were big on angel sex, apparently. They turned down an opportunity with Lot's hot virgin daughters in hopes of getting a piece of angel pie.
    Sodom gets a worse wrap over the butt sex issue than Gomorrah for unexplained reasons ('sodomy' sounds cooler than 'gomosexuality').
    God also didn't like the mean looks they gave visitors (God is an amateur travel critic, apparently).
    Who doesn't crave strange flesh every once in awhile?
    Sometimes it gets a little lonely in Mesopotamia, God!
    They were apparently close to good grazing fields AND whores.
    They had to put up with that high-and-mighty dickhead Lot.
    There are dozens of secular (aka communist) theories detailing how they might otherwise have been destroyed.
    One of these theories involves an event similar to the Tunguska event in Siberia destroying the cities rather than God.
    Both cities were also on a major earthquake fault line.
    In defense of their wanton sexuality and inhospitality: it is really hard to be both friendly and sexually repressed as God demands.
    God has since went to anger management classes and decided to overlook the giant immoral cities we live in today.
    At least that nutjob God did not flood the earth this time. He limited it to these troublemaker cities, who took the heat (literally) for everyone.

Credit: Captain Howdy


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