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John Cochran (Survivor)
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TV Reality Show Contestant
    Someone had to be the scrawny rat-faced geek with the whiny voice (read on).
    Like a true nerd, he often sported his sweater vest in the jungle.
    He referred to himself as a ‘sparkling water person’ rather than a ‘water person.’
    Citing the use of last names to indicate Jeff’s favorite players, he wanted to be referred to as Cochran.
    He likened his tribe to the 90210 crowd, with him being one of the zeroes (read on).
    He regarded the challenge with the roast pig on a spit as ‘oral herpes.’
    Because of his problem with handling the ropes in the blindfolded mask hunt, he was worried about being sent to Redemption Island — and the possibility he would be unable to intimidate Christine.
    Just prior to the last duel before the merge, he saw himself as capable of playing a ‘Double Agent’ and worthy of an Academy Award (complete with poor Al Pacino impression).
    During the re-vote that affected Keith and Rick, he cast the tie-breaking vote that shifted the tides to the Upolu faction of the Te Tuna and earned him the ire of the Savaii side (‘coward,’ ‘you threw the whole tribe under the bus,’ ‘you totally screwed me over’).
    As the last Savaii standing in the Te Tuna, he referred to the Upolu as the Mansons and himself as their Sharon Tate.
    He joined Coach in his early morning Tai Chi ritual.
    He told the tribe a little white lie about his birthday (six months off).
    Having been blindsided at the vote where he targeted Rick, he expressed a bit of disgust as having been paid only lip service by the Upolu (welcome to Survivor).
    He used one of his class reports to compare Survivor to a courtroom — which earned him the Dean’s Scholar prize for the best paper (his professor is also a Survivor nut).
    He is such a Survivor superfan that he showed up at school wearing a buff on his arm every Thursday.
    He is a Beatles fan — and a fan of Sir Paul in particular.
    His senior yearbook quote: ‘The tribe has spoken.’
    Following the duel and the merge, he returned the hidden idol to Ozzy (who then played it to shield Whitney).
    He was the only former Savaii to join the entire Upolu in the muffin feast at the balance challenge Whitney won.
    He had a little trouble carting off his torch to Redemption Island.
    He was the target of Ozzy’s play-on-words vote (hat had to be blurred out) and Jim’s Ponderosa guitar performance (‘Cochrane, you screwed me over...out of a million...when I see you in a dark alley I'll kick your ass!’)
    Fans and Survivor experts defend his flip – the most important event of the season – to ensure his spot in the game rather than picking out a purple rock.
    Contrary to popular commentary, he considered himself ‘on the outs’ rather than bullied.
    You’ll never confuse him for the key attorney at the O.J. trial (especially since the latter isn’t alive anymore).

Credit: Cool It All Right? & Battyx3

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