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Epicurus

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Philosopher

The Resume

    (341 BC-271 BC)
    Wrote forty-two books, none of which have survived

Why he might be annoying:

    There are many false rumors about him that were perpetuated by the Stoics as part of an effort to discredit his teachings.
    He had to flee his teaching post at the gymnasium (Interesting side note: Did you know that the word 'gymnasium' originally meant 'The place of nakedness?' It's true!) in Lesbos. The Aristotelians and Platonists there ganged up on him and drove him off.
    Many misread his works a saying 'Do what you want, when you want.'
    He died of a urinary blockage.

Why he might not be annoying:

    Unlike most ancient philosophers, he was born into absolute poverty, and his family was persecuted for being foreigners who moved to Athens.
    He briefly served in the Athenian army.
    His school was actually a large garden.
    There was no hierarchy for those who lived at The Garden, and they were probably some of the freest people on Earth at that time.
    Women and slaves were welcome to live and learn at the Garden.
    An inscription on the gate of The Garden read, 'Stranger, here you will do well to tarry; here our highest good is pleasure. The caretaker of that abode, a kindly host, will be ready for you; he will welcome you with bread, and serve you water also in abundance, with these words: 'Have you not been well entertained? This garden does not whet your appetite; but quenches it.''
    Karl Marx listed him as the greatest espouser of materialism.
    He believed that true happiness could only be achieved once the fear of the gods and the fear of death were eradicated.
    Although he believed that one should pursue happiness, he argued that we should always live ethically and never overdue pleasure.
    According to his writings, we should never depend on possessions, and should value intellectual pleasures over physical ones.
    He believed that death was 'nothing to us,' saying 'when we are, death is not; and when death is, we are not.'
    He was in extreme pain for a long while before he died, but maintained that he had never been happier at any time in his life.
    His philosophy seems to say, 'Life is too short to live in fear, so we might as well be happy while we are here.'

Credit: Nihilism Cynicism Sarcasm Orgasm


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 2 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 4 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 11 Votes: 45.45% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 12 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 3 Votes: 33.33% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 3 Votes: 33.33% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 16 Votes: 43.75% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 19 Votes: 52.63% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 13 Votes: 61.54% Annoying
    In 2012, Out of 11 Votes: 36.36% Annoying
    In 2011, Out of 16 Votes: 37.50% Annoying
    In 2010, Out of 27 Votes: 40.74% Annoying
    In 2009, Out of 23 Votes: 30.43% Annoying
    In 2008, Out of 35 Votes: 42.86% Annoying
    In 2007, Out of 52 Votes: 51.92% Annoying
    In 2006, Out of 96 Votes: 43.75% Annoying
    In 2005, Out of 180 Votes: 39.44% Annoying
    In 2004, Out of 402 Votes: 42.29% Annoying
    In 2003, Out of 552 Votes: 45.47% Annoying
    In 2002, Out of 230 Votes: 39.57% Annoying