The Resume

(circa 1554-October 29, 1618)
Created an English colony in Virginia (1584-1585)
Wrote 'History of the World (1614)'
Knighted (1585)

Why he might be annoying:

He introduced tobacco to Europe.
Although credited with establishing a colony in America, he never actually went there himself.
The colony he financed was on Roanoke Island, and all the colonists mysteriously vanished.
He was constantly sucking up to Queen Elizabeth.
He had an affair with one of the Queen's maids, and got thrown in jail.
He wasted years of his life searching for El Dorado, the non-existent 'lost city of gold.'
After England and Spain made peace, he kept attacking Spanish ships.
He was eventually beheaded for this.

Why he might not be annoying:

He brought potatoes back from the New World.
He was tall for his time.
He helped foil a plot to remove Elizabeth from the throne.
He was falsely accused of plotting against James I and got thrown in jail again.
He wrote a book while in prison.
He cracked jokes at his own execution.
His wife loved him so much that she carried his severed head with her for the rest of her life.

Credit: Wieland Kalligaro

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• AskMen's Top 5 Manly Poets (Ranked: 1)
• Beatle References
• City Namesakes
• Colonial America
• Executed by the State
• Historical Figures in ‘House of Wax’ [1953]
• I Allegedly Wrote Shakespeare's Plays
• I am an Atheist
• I Lost My Head [Decapitation]
• Imprisoned in the Tower of London
• Knights
• Look at Me, I'm Wearing a Ruffled Collar
• Look at Me, I've Been Caught Smoking
• Look at Me, My Picture Is Art
• My Name is a Mixed Drink
• Poets
• Profiles 13001-13250 (Ranked: 13078)
• Renaissance Men (and Women)
• Satirists and Wits
• Satirized on Rocky and Bullwinkle
• Seamen
• Top 100 Great Britons [BBC, 2002] (Ranked: 93)
• Wieland Kalligaro's Profiles [Series 4]

Year In Review:

For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2023, Out of 3 Votes: 33.33% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 4 Votes: 25.00% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 110 Votes: 58.18% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 15 Votes: 46.67% Annoying
In 2019, Out of 22 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 13 Votes: 46.15% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 4 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 10 Votes: 30.0% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 19 Votes: 42.11% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 15 Votes: 46.67% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 13 Votes: 53.85% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 9 Votes: 22.22% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 26 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 43 Votes: 53.49% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 37 Votes: 48.65% Annoying
In 2007, Out of 89 Votes: 53.93% Annoying
In 2006, Out of 121 Votes: 47.93% Annoying
In 2005, Out of 232 Votes: 49.57% Annoying
In 2004, Out of 66 Votes: 66.67% Annoying