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Jacob Wohl

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Advocate

The Resume

    (December 2, 1997- )
    Born in Los Angeles, California
    Hedge fund manager, far-right blogger, and conspiracy theorist
    Founded Wohl Capital Investment Group, NeX Capital Management, and Montgomery Assets, Inc.
    Blogger for Gateway Pundit (2018)
    With lobbyist Jack Burkman, attempted to frame Robert Mueller (2018) and Pete Buttigieg (2019) on sexual harassment charges

Why he might be annoying:

    When investigators from the National Futures Association (NFA) came to his house in response to investor complaints, he hid from them.
    The NFA banned him for life for misleading investors (2017).
    The Arizona Corporation Commission charged him with fourteen counts of security fraud, eventually ordering him to pay $32,919 in restitution and $5,000 in fines (2017).
    His misleading statements included claiming to have been a futures trader for ten years (which would have meant starting at age nine) and reporting that he was managing $10 million in assets for 178 clients (when the actual numbers were thirteen clients and about $500,000 in assets).
    He claimed Robert Mueller had sexually harassed a woman named Lorraine Parsons when they were both employed at the law firm Pillsbury, Madison & Sutro in 1974; the firm noted that no one named Lorraine Parsons had ever worked for them.
    He then reported that a woman had accused Mueller of raping her in a New York hotel room in 2010 – inconveniently, on a date that Mueller was actually in Washington, DC, serving jury duty.
    He and Burkman held a press conference where they said they would present the accuser, who – surprise! – was a no-show (November 1, 2018).
    After spending a week trying unsuccessfully to find gay Republicans who would accuse Buttigieg of sexual harassment, he and Burkman made up a statement and posted it to Twitter using a false account.
    In all three would-be scandals, people have come forward with accounts of him and/or Burkman trying to bribe, cajole, and intimidate them into signing false affidavits and making public accusations.
    During a trip to Minneapolis with fellow conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer (February, 2019), he claimed jihadists had created ‘no-go zones’ so dangerous that they had to travel with a team of ‘security professionals’ in armored cars; oddly neither the security personnel nor their vehicles showed up in any of the footage the pair live-streamed.
    He claimed to have gotten death threats – which turned out to have been sent from his own Twitter accounts.
    He got banned from Twitter for using fake accounts (February 26, 2019).

Why he might not be annoying:

    He was a teenaged hedge fund manager.
    He was dropped by Gateway Pundit after the Mueller fiasco.
    He was ejected from the Conservative Political Action Conference (2019).
    His frequent claim in tweets of having ‘just left a hipster coffee shop’ where he had overheard some unlikely conversation (such as liberals raving about how good a job Donald Trump was doing on the economy) were mocked in an online meme.
    So far, he has been too incompetent to cause any lasting damage.

Credit: C. Fishel


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 2 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2023, Out of 222 Votes: 69.82% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 132 Votes: 57.58% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 164 Votes: 67.07% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 179 Votes: 53.07% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 111 Votes: 48.65% Annoying