The Resume

(circa 1008 BC-976 BC)
Third son of King David
Also known as Avshalom, Avšalom, Abshalom, Abishalom, Abéshalom and Abisalamu

Why he might be annoying:

He was vain and cocky.
He was known for his luxurious long hair.
His father, King David, distrusted him and stripped him of his right to the throne.
He led a rebellion against his father.
When it failed, he rode away through the forest, but got his long hair caught in a tree.
His name can be spelled at least seven different ways.

Why he might not be annoying:

He was considered the most attractive man in Israel.
When his brother raped their sister, Absalom had him killed.
One of King David’s generals found him hanging from the tree and stabbed him to death.
Despite their differences, David loved him and built a monument to him after he was killed.
William Faulkner named a novel, ‘Absalom, Absalom!,’ after him.

Credit: Wieland Kalligaro

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• Ancient Times
• Ancient Times: Middle East
• Biblical Royalty
• I Am in the Bible
• I Am in the Old Testament
• I Died for My Sins
• I Died in My 30s (Ranked: 32)
• I was Murdered
• I was Stabbed
• Lion Manes
• Look at Me, My Picture Is Art
• Monarchs, Royalty and Nobles
• Pretty Boys
• Profiles 13501-13750 (Ranked: 13738)
• Sabras - I am Israeli
• Wieland Kalligaro's Profiles [Series 4]

Year In Review:

For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2023, Out of 10 Votes: 40.0% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 4 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 13 Votes: 92.31% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2019, Out of 32 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 32 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 18 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 20 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 25 Votes: 52.00% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 19 Votes: 52.63% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 14 Votes: 71.43% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 76 Votes: 77.63% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 46 Votes: 69.57% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 27 Votes: 59.26% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 60 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
In 2007, Out of 70 Votes: 67.14% Annoying
In 2006, Out of 126 Votes: 61.90% Annoying
In 2005, Out of 210 Votes: 61.90% Annoying