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John Swartzwelder
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Screenwriter
    (November 16, 1950- )
    Writer for Saturday Night Live (1985-86) , The Simpsons (1990-2003) and ‘The Simpsons Movie’ (2007)
    Wrote the novels ‘The Time Machine Did It’ (2004), ‘Double Wonderful’ (2005), ‘How I Conquered Your Planet’ (2006), ‘The Exploding Detective’ (2007), ‘Dead Men Scare Me Stupid’ (2008), ‘Earth vs. Everybody’ (2009), ‘The Last Detective Alive’ (2010), ‘The Fifty Foot Detective’ (2011), ‘The Million Dollar Policeman’ (2012) and ‘Detective Made Easy’ (2013)
    He used to write ‘Simpsons’ episodes sitting in a favorite booth at a coffee shop, ‘drinking copious amounts of coffee and smoking endless cigarettes.’
    When California banned smoking in public places, he bought the booth and had installed in his home so he could continue his old routine.
    Because of his chain smoking, he was allowed to skip rewriting sessions with the rest of the staff.
    He rarely makes media appearances and refused to participate in the audio commentary on any ‘Simpsons’ DVDs.
    His reclusiveness and high productivity led to rumors that ‘John Swartzwelder’ was a pseudonym used when writers did not want their real name in the credits of an episode.
    The animated caricature of him appearing in the background of several ‘Simpsons’ episodes looks a lot like David Crosby.
    He wrote 59 ‘Simpsons’ episodes, far more than any other writer.
    His scripts generally required less rewriting than those of other writers.
    He has been described as a big fan of Preston Sturges films and ‘anything old-timey American.’
    According to ‘Time,’ among ‘Simpsons’ writers ‘the biggest compliment you can give to a joke is to call it ‘Swartzweldian.’’
    Fellow ‘Simpsons’ writer Dan Greaney called him ‘the greatest writer in the English language in any form.’

Credit: C. Fishel


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