The Resume

(circa 18-48)
Born in Rome
Full name is Valeria Messalina
Third wife of Claudius and legendary nymphomaniac
Related to Augustus through both her grandmothers

Why she might be annoying:

She often painted her nipples dark red.
She manipulated her doting husband into executing or banishing anyone she felt threatened by.
She and a famous prostitute had a contest to see who could sleep with the most men in 24 hours. (Messalina won.)
She planned orgies for upper class Roman matrons.
While still married to Claudius, she married another man and plotted Claudius' assassination with him.
When found guilty of treason, she was too cowardly to commit suicide, so a guard stabbed her.

Why she might not be annoying:

At about age 18, she was married off to a middle-aged man widely believed to be simple-minded.
Her whorish reputation may have been exaggerated by her enemies.
For a time she was the most powerful woman in Rome.
Her political maneuvering may have been intended to protect her vulnerable son Britannicus.
If so, her efforts failed--Britannicus was assassinated at age 13.
Writers clucked over her morals but couldn't get enough of her sexual escapades.

Credit: Georgina

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• Ancient Times
• Ancient Times: Rome
• Executed by the State
• Georgina/Devil Doll's Profiles [Series 3]
• I am an Adulterer
• I Died for My Sins
• I Died in My 30s (Ranked: 30)
• I Like to Party
• I was Stabbed
• Known By a Single Name
• Look at Me, My Picture Is Art
• My Child Was Murdered
• My Spouse is at Least Ten Years Older than Me
• Profiles 24501-24750 (Ranked: 24626)
• Whores and Johns

Year In Review:

For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
In 2023, Out of 3 Votes: 0% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 2 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 7 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 3 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
In 2019, Out of 7 Votes: 71.43% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 8 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 3 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 7 Votes: 71.43% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 6 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 15 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 5 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 13 Votes: 53.85% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 12 Votes: 58.33% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 109 Votes: 66.97% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 29 Votes: 51.72% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying