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Jourdan Miller
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TV Reality Show Contestant
    Whenever she mentioned her very brief but abusive marriage, it became a drinking game for some viewers (she divorced at 18 and was 19 at the time of filming).
    Even more bizarre, she lived with her ex’s parents (not hers, his) — unemployed, and with no backup plans.
    It was not lost on her that male contestants got to wear sneakers and females had to wear heels on the vertical runway.
    It was not lost on any of her fellows that she spent a little too much time overly admiring her winning photo shoot pictures.
    Nor was it lost on them, getting only five minutes each, that she allotted herself and Nina ten minutes of telephone time — and put in more than 15 minutes.
    So wait, you think Goth is an ethnicity?
    During the payoff at the Melorose Avenue quiz challenge, she snapped up a pair of ‘Stripperella’ heels similar to another competitor who, unlike her, was not shown being called out for it.
    She is prone to panic attacks.
    Because most of the eliminated contestants threw their weight behind Marvin or Cory, she likened her near-total lack of support at the Guess campaign shoot to a schoolyard pick ’em.
    In light of this, she went so far as to suggest she would have preferred not having any supporters at all.
    The argument between the photographer and stylist at that shoot provoked Laura James flashbacks.
    She had a habit of planting her hand firmly on her head at photo shoots.
    High fashion look but not much personality — gee, whom else was like that?
    At six-foot-one, but with a soft breathy voice, she is the tallest female contestant of the season.
    Imagine Lights with a few more inches.
    Her blonde makeover, similar to Chris H, was effectively the inverse of Alex — though she did fear being identified as a ‘Barbie’ for it.
    At the phoney interview challenge sponsored by Perez Hilton, she asked a male subject about his favorite supermodels — and answered, ‘Well, I mean, how about you?’
    Apparently platform heels didn’t cause her much trouble on the spinning runway — winning that challenge scored her a Nylon TV correspondent gig.
    Only one other contestant received two consecutive first call-outs; she was the only contestant with more than two overall.
    Even got one for the rice paddy photo shoot, where she nearly tipped into the ‘nasty cobra feces’ stream — in heels.
    At least ‘fake supporter’ Chris H was honest about his motivations for supporting her Guess campaign (magazine material).
    She is not infallible; only one other contestant failed to get any bookings at the go-see.
    Having transferred from Cory’s crew to hers, Mike put the Monty Hall Problem on full display and scored a $1000 bonus for being on the winning contestant’s crew (as Chris also did).
    She hopes to be an inspiration to abused women.

Credit: Cool It All Right?


    For 2019, as of last week, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 10 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 12 Votes: 58.33% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 11 Votes: 54.55% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 17 Votes: 64.71% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 23 Votes: 56.52% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 6 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
 
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