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Malchus

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Biblical Character

The Resume

    Temple guard/servant
    Participated in the arrest of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane
    Ear was cut off by Simon during the battle that ensued
    Was healed by Jesus moments later
    Appears in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the New Testament

Why he might be annoying:

    He worked for Caiaphas.
    He appeared in all four canonical gospels, but is only actually named in the Gospel of John.
    His ear being healed by Jesus is also only recorded in the Gospel of Luke.
    He has been the subject of disconcertingly graphic Bible art.
    Theologians have insisted that this account could not have been fictitious because the disciples would not have depicted themselves as violent in the early texts unless it could not have been avoided (that and severed ears being restored by divine intervention are an everyday occurance, right?)

Why he might not be annoying:

    He was just doing his job by carrying out a routine arrest and got his ear cut off by a belligerent hippie.
    The healing by Jesus is the last miracle reported in the Canonical Gospels prior to the Crucifixion of Jesus.
    It is believed that he converted later converted to Christianity following the miracle.
    He is proof that Jesus had the power to blast the Sanhedrin and Romans into oblivion if he wanted to, but instead chose to die nonviolently to redeem the world.
    He was the subject of a Thornton Wilder play ('The Servant's Name Was Malchus').
    He was saved from spending the rest of his life looking like Van Gogh by a transformative religious figure.

Credit: BoyWiththeGreenHair


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2023, Out of 4 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 6 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 82 Votes: 52.44% Annoying