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King David

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Monarch

The Resume

    (June 8, 1940-971 BC)
    King of Judah (1011-971 B.C.)
    King of Israel (1004-971 B.C.)
    Son of Jesse
    Father of King Solomon
    Court musician to King Saul
    Identified as ‘chosen of God’ by the prophet Samuel

Why he might be annoying:

    He was a trusted servant of King Saul, but tried to overthrow him.
    He paid King Saul ‘the foreskins of 100 Philistines’ so he could marry his daughter.
    Many scholars believe he also had gay sex with the king’s son Jonathan.
    Like Bill Clinton, his sexual shenanigans got him in a lot of trouble.
    He had an affair with Bathsheba, the wife of his general Uriah, got her pregnant, and then sent the Uriah to the front lines to be killed. (Their offspirng was Solomon).
    He chose Solomon to be his heir instead of his oldest son Adonijah.
    Many scholars believe he didn’t exist at all, but was just a legend like King Arthur.
    Richard Gere played him in a crappy movie.

Why he might not be annoying:

    He was a poor shepherd who became king of all Israel.
    He killed the giant Goliath with a pebble.
    He was a skilled soldier, musician and poet.
    He was reportedly handsome.
    He became king despite the attempts of King Saul to have him killed.
    He made Jerusalem the capital of Israel.
    He suffered from poor health in his old age.
    He is believed to be the direct ancestor of Jesus Christ.
    Christians, Jews and Muslims all consider him an important religious figure.
    He became king despite the attempts of King Saul to have him killed.

Credit: Wieland Kalligaro


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 53 Votes: 39.62% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 14 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 17 Votes: 5.88% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 30 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 14 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 45 Votes: 53.33% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 25 Votes: 52.00% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 39 Votes: 51.28% Annoying
    In 2012, Out of 62 Votes: 48.39% Annoying
    In 2011, Out of 90 Votes: 52.22% Annoying
    In 2010, Out of 77 Votes: 44.16% Annoying
    In 2009, Out of 80 Votes: 41.25% Annoying
    In 2008, Out of 151 Votes: 36.42% Annoying
    In 2007, Out of 289 Votes: 44.64% Annoying
    In 2006, Out of 145 Votes: 42.76% Annoying
    In 2005, Out of 266 Votes: 48.12% Annoying