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Eli (High Priest)

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Biblical Character

The Resume

    High Priest of Shiloh; Levite Judge (40 Years)
    Name in Hebrew literally means 'Ascent' or '[God is] on high'
    Father of Hophni and Phineas
    Mentor to The Prophet Samuel in The Old Testament (1 Samuel 1 - 4)
    Fell off his horse and broke his neck after hearing the news that his sons had been killed in battle by The Philistines, resulting in the Ark of the Covenant being taken (1 Samuel 4: 17-18)

Why he might be annoying:

    He was an 'enabler' long before the term was invented.
    He mistook Hannah for a drunk woman when she first prayed before him for a child (she was barren).
    He was in denial about his two 'wicked sons,' who were known to rape parishioners and steal sacrifices from the altar.
    When complaints started to mount, he failed to remove them from their high-ranking positions in his tabernacle.
    His prioritizing his own sons above 'the word of God' apparently didn't go over very well with the Man Upstairs, because he sent a message that he was putting a curse on his family line ('I will cut short your strength and the strength of your priestly house, so that no one in it will reach old age...').
    In addition, he communicated that he would be replaced by a more ' faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind.' Enter Samuel.
    The curse resulted in the Ark of the Covenant (the mark of God's presence on the side of the Levites) being captured by the Philistines, in addition to his sons' being killed during the raid.
    No matter what version of the Bible is consulted, for some reason the 'author' feels the need to point out that he was not only old but extremely fat (or 'heavy') at the time of his death.

Why he might not be annoying:

    He's listed as a Prophet in the Talmud.
    He is believed to have been the ancestor of The Prophet Jeremiah.
    He did attempt to set his sons straight, but was too timid to effectively discipline them.
    He wasn't bitter in the least about when he learned that God was rearing young Samuel to be his replacement.
    Rather, Samuel took up residency in the tabernacle under the High Priest's care and tutelage.
    He even blessed Samuel's parents, asking God to give them children to replace the young son they had dedicated to the Lord.
    When he was so old that he was practically blind, God appeared before both him and Samuel in the middle of the night, announcing that the prophecy affecting Eli's family would soon come to pass (he humbly accepted and appointed Samuel the new High Priest of Shiloh).
    Worse yet, at the moment of his death, his pregnant daughter-in-law also died in childbirth (she fittingly named her son Ichabod, ‘The Glory has departed from Israel’).
    If God had asked him to take one of his sons to the top of a mountain and cut him open as a burnt offering he probably wouldn't have done it (brownie points... )

Credit: BoyWiththeGreenHair


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2023, Out of 22 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 9 Votes: 77.78% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 4 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 8 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 3 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 14 Votes: 57.14% Annoying