Voting Station

Alger Hiss

Please vote to return to collections.

Spy

The Resume

    (November 11, 1904-November 15, 1996)
    Clerk to Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes (1929-1930)
    Assistant to Francis B. Sayre in the State Department (1936)
    Assistant to President Roosevelt at the Yalta Conference (1945)
    Secretary General of the United Nations Charter Conference (1945)
    Sentenced to five years in prison for two counts of perjury (January 21, 1950)

Why he might be annoying:

    When he was younger, he tried losing his virginity to a prostitute.
    He and his wife were accused by Whittaker Chambers of spying for the Soviet Union in the 1930s (1948).
    Allegedly, he took photographs of State Department documents and his wife typed them up on a typewriter to send to the Soviet spy network.
    The case shot Richard Nixon to the national stage when he and Chambers produced photos from State Department inside a hollowed-out pumpkin ('The Pumpkin Papers').
    In a grand jury investigation, he continually denied Chambers' allegations under oath.
    As a result of this denial, he was put on trial for perjury instead, since the statute of limitations for his espionage had run out.
    His name was invoked several times as a synonym for treason in the 1950s.
    To this day, it is unclear whether he was actually a spy or not.
    He wrote a rather boring autobiography.
    He became a salesman as a result of being disbarred for perjury.

Why he might not be annoying:

    He was two years old when his father committed suicide.
    He successfully fought Stalin's request for fifteen seats in the United Nations General Assembly (he must have sucked as a spy).
    The charges of perjury were just covers for the espionage charges he could not be tried for.
    Much of the evidence against him has fallen apart under scrutiny.
    The 'Pumpkin Papers' only came out after he had filed a lawsuit against Chambers for slander. They, suspiciously, were not brought up during Hiss' initial hearings.
    During his trial, he would often correct the prosecutors terrible grammar to the laughter of the courtroom.
    He had trouble finding a job after he got out of prison, as nobody would hire him because of the trial.
    After a release of documents, it was revealed that an FBI agent knowingly committed perjury at his trial by stating under oath it was impossible to forge a document by typewriter (1975).
    Other documents reveal the FBI submitted a typewriter that could not possibly be his but did not tell him.
    The FBI also had an insider who reported on his defense strategy to the government.
    Richard Nixon, his primary accuser, ended up going down in a hail of scandal during his presidency.
    After the collapse of the Soviet Union, it was revealed that no document in their archives could be found that proved him to be a spy (though it could have been gotten rid of).
    He denied until he died that he was a spy.

Credit: Captain Howdy


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 3 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 6 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 26 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 2 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 4 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 19 Votes: 47.37% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 23 Votes: 56.52% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 25 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 25 Votes: 52.00% Annoying
    In 2012, Out of 36 Votes: 80.56% Annoying
    In 2011, Out of 20 Votes: 90.0% Annoying
    In 2010, Out of 53 Votes: 66.04% Annoying
    In 2009, Out of 36 Votes: 72.22% Annoying
    In 2008, Out of 76 Votes: 73.68% Annoying
    In 2007, Out of 97 Votes: 71.13% Annoying
    In 2006, Out of 132 Votes: 70.45% Annoying
    In 2005, Out of 123 Votes: 61.79% Annoying