Voting Station

Beowulf

Please vote to return to collections.

Hero

The Resume

    Geatish warrior
    Subject of the heroic epic poem 'Beowulf' (written between 700 and 750 AD)
    Believed to have lived in early 6th century AD
    Fought Grendel, Grendel's Mother, and the Dragon (according to legend)
    Portrayed by Ray Winstone and Chris Bruno

Why he might be annoying:

    He was described as boastful.
    There is serious doubt cast that he even existed at all.
    Some scholars even believe that he may have been a legendary king whose exploits were greatly exaggerated.
    In the poem, he only becomes king only once everyone in the line before him has been killed off in inter-tribal warfare.
    His name roughly translates in Old English to 'bee-hunter' or 'bee-wolf.'
    John Gardner made him a adaptational villain - and a sadistic one at that - for his book told from Grendel's perspective (because...why not?).
    His poem made for a bad Robert Zemeckis movie with Angelina Jolie.

Why he might not be annoying:

    He kicked the crap out of Grendel and his mama.
    His epic is the oldest surviving Germanic epic and the longest Old English poem.
    When he ascended to the throne, his kingdom had a enjoyed fifty years of peace.
    He died defending Geatland from a fire-breathing dragon in his old age (according to legend).
    If he really existed, he was evidently strong enough to rip his enemy's limbs off.
    Unlike King Arthur he wasn't an adulterous, incestuous deadbeat dad and kid killer.
    He made for a Wishbone cutaway story in the book tie-in for the series - appropriately titled 'Be a Wolf' (although it never was made into an actual episode).
    J.R.R. Tolkien and Toni Morrison both wrote about him.

Credit: BoyWiththeGreenHair


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2023, Out of 11 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 5 Votes: 20.0% Annoying