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Atahualpa

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The Resume

    (1497-July 26, 1533)
    Born in Cusco, Peru
    Last Emperor of the Inca Empire, reigning from 1532-1533
    Ruled over parts of present-day Peru, Chile, Ecuador, Bolivia and Colombia
    Captured, held hostage, and executed by Francisco Pizarro and his troops in 1533
    Also known as Atabalipa or Atawallpa

Why he might be annoying:

    He engaged in a civil war which could only have weakened the Inca Empire, where their resources and strength could have been used to dispel the Spaniards.
    He was at the helm of one of the most humiliating defeats in military history, with an entire Empire and an army of roughly 30,000 men being defeated by an army one-tenth the size (all in about a half hour).
    He engaged in human sacrifice rituals.
    He had children by several concubines.
    He had to defeat his brother to seize the throne (and would eventually be prompted by Pizarro to order his assassination).
    He also ordered the death of his brother's family and several other family members (classy).
    In what can only be called comic irony, he met Pizarro and his men while resting in the city of Cajamarca, on the way to claiming his throne.
    He underestimated Pizarro's comparably small army and was cocky enough to invite them to meet him in Cajamarca.
    He unwittingly set the Spanish off by dismissively tossing the Bible on the floor after being told to convert to Christianity.
    Although his troops far outnumbered Pizarro's, he ordered his men not to attempt a rescue, under the impression that they would leave once they had obtained gold.
    Like Montezuma II, he spent his last days as a puppet for the Spaniards, who eventually double-crossed him.
    He was portrayed by Captain Von Trapp himself, Christopher Plummer, in 'The Royal Hunt of the Sun' (1969)

Why he might not be annoying:

    He was said to have been the favorite of his father.
    He amazed even his captors with his calm, stoic demeanor while in captivity.
    Pizarro promised to release him as soon as he received the ransom of gold & silver, but he proceeded to kill him anyway.
    He was allegedly killed over a false rumor that one of his generals was preparing an army for a rebellion.
    He was forced to accept Christian baptism as an alternative to being burnt at the stake.
    He excelled in chess, having learned by watching his Spanish captors play.
    Ironically, he beat any Spanish challenger at the game (talk about a game based on fantasy).
    He was succeeded by his brother, Tupac Amaru II, who raised the last major rebellion against the conquistadors.
    Yes, Tupac Shakur (2Pac) is named in his brother's honor (how awesome is that).
    Like Montezuma, he was a victim of circumstance who inherited a bill of goods as a ruler, who might have been a capable ruler under different circumstances.
    He was the victim of a posthumous smear campaign by the Spanish, who called him a tyrannical 'demon' to save face over his execution.
    The Battle of Cajamarca has gone down in history as one of the bloodiest episodes in Conquistador history, with hundreds of Incas slaughtered in less than an hour.
    The Atahualpa Olympic Stadium in Quito, Peru, is named for him.

Credit: BoyWiththeGreenHair


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 23 Votes: 47.83% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 3 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 10 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 19 Votes: 15.79% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 32 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 34 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 10 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 9 Votes: 44.44% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 60 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 16 Votes: 50.0% Annoying