Voting Station

John Kerry

Please vote to see the next celebrity.

U.S. Senator

The Resume

    (December 11, 1943- )
    Resides in Massachusetts
    2004 Democratic Presidential nominee (lost to George W. Bush)
    Graduated Yale
    Served in Mekong Delta in Vietnam
    Became Lieutenant Governor in 1982
    Democratic Senator representing Massachusetts (January 1986-January 2013)
    Confirmed as U.S. Secretary of State (January 29, 2013)

Why he might be annoying:

    He seems to try too hard to remind people of John F. Kennedy.
    He paraphrased JFK's 'Ask not' speech at a public appearance.
    When it came out that his grandfather was an Austrian Jew, rather than a Catholic as he had always thought, he denied any knowledge of it, but some accuse him of trying to hide his Jewish roots from the public.
    He has a cotton swab hair cut.
    He supports affirmative action.
    He voted to authorize the war in Iraq but voted against the spending package for the troops and provisional government.
    He wrote 28 letters on behalf of businessman Parthasarathi Majumder, who later pleaded guilty to illegally soliciting employees to contribute money to Kerry's Senate campaign.
    His daughter claims that he administered CPR to a hamster.
    He is divorced.

Why he might not be annoying:

    He served in Vietnam as a gunboat officer and received a Silver Star, Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts.
    Upon returning, he co-founded Vietnam Veterans Against the War and spoke out against the war.
    As head prosecutor of Middlesex County, he helped convict New England's number two crime boss.
    In his private law practice, he worked tirelessly to acquit an innocent man wrongly imprisoned for life.
    During his career he has uncovered government scandals and corruption, and held Oliver North and other political connivers responsible.
    He is dedicated to fighting government waste and corporate welfare.
    Along with John McCain, he has worked toward learning the truth about Vietnam veterans declared POW/MIA by the government.
    His wife, Theresa Heinz Kerry, is the widow of a descendant of H.J. Heinz of Heinz 57 Varieties.
    He enjoys windsurfing and rides a motorcycle.
    He rescued a Green Beret lieutenant while he was wounded and under heavy fire.

Credit: Big Papa

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    For 2021, as of last week, Out of 365 Votes: 63.29% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 1345 Votes: 55.17% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 2051 Votes: 60.75% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 2461 Votes: 55.67% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 7490 Votes: 61.66% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 1558 Votes: 79.01% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 1310 Votes: 91.68% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 7144 Votes: 46.89% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 2793 Votes: 77.23% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 3713 Votes: 68.41% Annoying
    In 2012, Out of 8260 Votes: 54.44% Annoying
    In 2011, Out of 6791 Votes: 57.19% Annoying
    In 2010, Out of 9881 Votes: 54.70% Annoying
    In 2009, Out of 3370 Votes: 74.09% Annoying
    In 2008, Out of 6362 Votes: 72.34% Annoying
    In 2007, Out of 15167 Votes: 76.92% Annoying
    In 2006, Out of 29937 Votes: 47.44% Annoying
    In 2005, Out of 41027 Votes: 44.22% Annoying
    In 2004, Out of 26929 Votes: 46.79% Annoying
    In 2003, Out of 2387 Votes: 58.78% Annoying